For those who are curious, here are some dates for you.
2001 -- Started learning about transgenderism.
Sept 2006 -- Started college, gained support system, learned a ton about being trans
April 2006 -- Started binding, started looking at names, started identifying as trans. Went back and forth for the next few years.
June 2009 -- Started seeing a gender therapist.
July 25, 2009 -- My dad passed away. Stopped seeing my gender therapist, stopped thinking about gender for awhile.
April 30, 2010 -- My mom passed away.
May 31, 2010 -- Graduated college.
March 2011 -- Went back to same gender therapist, started working on gender issues.
April 30, 2011 -- Started going by Tuck, using male pronouns full time.
Late June, 2011 -- Got my physical in preparation for starting T.
July 2, 2011 -- Told I would be getting my T letter, made first call to Fenway Health.
July 8, 2011 -- Got my T letter.
July 8, 2011 - July 15, 2011 -- Assorted bloodwork, faxing, phonecalls, emails with therapist and Fenway.
July 15, 2011 -- My case goes before Fenway Health Transgender board. Case is approved! Told to make an appointment for 4 weeks from that date for initial hormone evaluation.
July 30, 2011 -- Top surgery fundraising party.
August 5, 2011 -- First shot at Fenway Health.
August 15, 2011 -- Phone call with Dr. Garramone. Top Surgery Scheduled!
January 26, 2012 -- Top Surgery scheduled!
When things get started, they REALLY get started!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Second Shot!
So yesterday was my two week mark on T. I had just gotten fresh off a red eye from SFO, came home at 7am, slept til 10:30, woke up and went to Fenway to get my shot.
I'm also super sick, so I'm congested and my voice sounds like hell. I can't tell if my voice has changed or if this is just now what my voice sounds like.
Anyway, self-injection was way easier than I thought it would be. I assembled the needle, did all that stuff, and the nurse showed me where I should try to inject. I did it quick, like a bandaid peel. Even the nurse was impressed! She told me most people think about it a lot or it takes them longer. I just went for it. Like most things in life.
Other than that, I just came back from the west coast yesterday. I spent 10 days in Portland and San Fran, and it was pretty fun. It was the first time I had ever been on the west coast. I was pretty pleased.
Idk, I've taken a lot of sudafed, so I feel a little all over the place.
No interesting changes, still not passing, yadayada. Will keep you posted.
I'm also super sick, so I'm congested and my voice sounds like hell. I can't tell if my voice has changed or if this is just now what my voice sounds like.
Anyway, self-injection was way easier than I thought it would be. I assembled the needle, did all that stuff, and the nurse showed me where I should try to inject. I did it quick, like a bandaid peel. Even the nurse was impressed! She told me most people think about it a lot or it takes them longer. I just went for it. Like most things in life.
Other than that, I just came back from the west coast yesterday. I spent 10 days in Portland and San Fran, and it was pretty fun. It was the first time I had ever been on the west coast. I was pretty pleased.
Idk, I've taken a lot of sudafed, so I feel a little all over the place.
No interesting changes, still not passing, yadayada. Will keep you posted.
Monday, August 8, 2011
T RAGE.
Alright, so I'm now three(?) days on T. Or post T shot, however you want to count it. Counting has been a big challenge for me, since I have never been in a math class that was not held in the back of a library.
Anyway, obviously I haven't noticed any huge changes, but today was the first day I could definitely pinpoint some things that were T related, as it were.
-- ENERGY. Holy mother of God. I'm bouncing off the walls. I haven't increased or decreased my caffeine, and it's not nervous / anxious energy. It's just pure and simple energy. I came home from work and HAD to work out to burn off some excess energy. It's an awesome feeling because normally I get tired very, very easily and I'm prone to napping and boredom.
-- I FEEL a lot bigger. My muscles feel stronger, my shoulders feel broader. I feel like my arms literally hang differently than they used to. I walk with my shoulders back now. This might be T swagger, but it feels good. I just did some weights at the gym and while I'm still a 98 pound weakling, it feels like I'm building muscle. I can't really put it into words, but it's just a feeling.
-- T RAGE. Okay, a lot of people don't believe in this. I'm not even sure I believe in it. But I have been so aggressive today it's off the wall. Not in a bad way, don't get me wrong. Not like in your face I'm gonna fight you. But just a lot more assertive and peeved at different things. I think I said HULK SMASHHH about an email chain at work like 5 times in various g-chat windows.
-- Alright, if you know me well, you might not want to read this. It's something we were all expecting. But last night, I was scrolling through Tumblr, like I do, when I came across some ladies doin' it, for lack of a better word. I actually stopped and looked at it. I actually liked it. It was very different than what I was used to. The porn phase begins.
Anyway, that's all the news so far. I leave to go to the west coast tomorrow evening, and then I come back next Thursday on a red eye and straight into my second shot. Onward and upward~~~
Anyway, obviously I haven't noticed any huge changes, but today was the first day I could definitely pinpoint some things that were T related, as it were.
-- ENERGY. Holy mother of God. I'm bouncing off the walls. I haven't increased or decreased my caffeine, and it's not nervous / anxious energy. It's just pure and simple energy. I came home from work and HAD to work out to burn off some excess energy. It's an awesome feeling because normally I get tired very, very easily and I'm prone to napping and boredom.
-- I FEEL a lot bigger. My muscles feel stronger, my shoulders feel broader. I feel like my arms literally hang differently than they used to. I walk with my shoulders back now. This might be T swagger, but it feels good. I just did some weights at the gym and while I'm still a 98 pound weakling, it feels like I'm building muscle. I can't really put it into words, but it's just a feeling.
-- T RAGE. Okay, a lot of people don't believe in this. I'm not even sure I believe in it. But I have been so aggressive today it's off the wall. Not in a bad way, don't get me wrong. Not like in your face I'm gonna fight you. But just a lot more assertive and peeved at different things. I think I said HULK SMASHHH about an email chain at work like 5 times in various g-chat windows.
-- Alright, if you know me well, you might not want to read this. It's something we were all expecting. But last night, I was scrolling through Tumblr, like I do, when I came across some ladies doin' it, for lack of a better word. I actually stopped and looked at it. I actually liked it. It was very different than what I was used to. The porn phase begins.
Anyway, that's all the news so far. I leave to go to the west coast tomorrow evening, and then I come back next Thursday on a red eye and straight into my second shot. Onward and upward~~~
Friday, August 5, 2011
T DAY
TODAY WAS THE DAY.
I obviously couldn't sleep. The woman and I drove to the doctor, I went over the basic forms with the doctor and she told me she didn't see any reason why I couldn't get my first shot that day.
I said yeah damn straight I'll get my first shot today. JK No but really I would have choked a bitch if that didn't happen.
So the second nurse came in, she showed me how to assemble the syringe, draw the testosterone into the needle and where to inject myself. She injected it today, but I will do it next week. I'm super eager to get started doing it on my own, because I'm so DIY and I do love accoutrements.
Anyway, she injected .25mL (50mL) of 200mg Testosterone Cypionate into my left thigh. She said next week we'll do it on my right thigh so I can use my dominant hand. It was a super bizarre sensation, I could truly feel it in my muscles. My quad is still a little sore.
BUT I DID IT. And it was awesome and here I am on the other side. I'm obviously super eager to start seeing changes, but I know I've got a long way to go. The only thing I've noticed so far is my throat feels funny, like I always have to clear it but I don't really. This might be totally psychosomatic.
I guess I feel like I have a little more energy. I feel like anything I say right now is going to be purely placebo effect, but who cares. That's part of it.
After the shot, I took a nap, ate some lunch and went to get a new tattoo. Ironically (or not ironically), I got 'ma'am'd and 'she'd multiple times at the tattoo parlor. I was all yeah yeah get your kicks now bros, you wait til I look like Taylor Hanson / Tom Felton / Ryan Gosling.
Which will obviously happen as early as tomorrow.
Here is a light photo journal of my day, since my lady friend was obviously like a proud parent during this whole thing.
I obviously couldn't sleep. The woman and I drove to the doctor, I went over the basic forms with the doctor and she told me she didn't see any reason why I couldn't get my first shot that day.
I said yeah damn straight I'll get my first shot today. JK No but really I would have choked a bitch if that didn't happen.
So the second nurse came in, she showed me how to assemble the syringe, draw the testosterone into the needle and where to inject myself. She injected it today, but I will do it next week. I'm super eager to get started doing it on my own, because I'm so DIY and I do love accoutrements.
Anyway, she injected .25mL (50mL) of 200mg Testosterone Cypionate into my left thigh. She said next week we'll do it on my right thigh so I can use my dominant hand. It was a super bizarre sensation, I could truly feel it in my muscles. My quad is still a little sore.
BUT I DID IT. And it was awesome and here I am on the other side. I'm obviously super eager to start seeing changes, but I know I've got a long way to go. The only thing I've noticed so far is my throat feels funny, like I always have to clear it but I don't really. This might be totally psychosomatic.
I guess I feel like I have a little more energy. I feel like anything I say right now is going to be purely placebo effect, but who cares. That's part of it.
After the shot, I took a nap, ate some lunch and went to get a new tattoo. Ironically (or not ironically), I got 'ma'am'd and 'she'd multiple times at the tattoo parlor. I was all yeah yeah get your kicks now bros, you wait til I look like Taylor Hanson / Tom Felton / Ryan Gosling.
Which will obviously happen as early as tomorrow.
Here is a light photo journal of my day, since my lady friend was obviously like a proud parent during this whole thing.
Monday, August 1, 2011
T is for Top Surgery Fundraiser!
So my top surgery fundraising party was this past Saturday. The theme was, obviously, 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem.'
We made commemorative pink cups that said the name of the party and the date. We had a keg, two 30racks of Bud Lite, skippies, assorted tequila, whiskey, vodka, gin. My kind friends bought a cake that said 'Tuck's the Best, Fuck the Rest'. We had streamers and waterguns and temporary dinosaur tattoos and parasols that go in the cup. We played flip cup and beer pong downstairs and danced to country music upstairs. We had jello shots in every flavor and jello shots made in orange slices.
Overall, it was amazing. I raised over $500. That alone is enough for me to reserve a surgery date with Dr. Garramone. I was truly, truly touched by everyone's immense display of support. I felt very truly loved, and I don't know how to repay that love, except in words I guess.
For those who are interested, my model was as follows--
$5 for a cup / admission. These are commemorative cups (so people feel like they are paying for something). You can write your name on the cup and you can then fill the cup up as many times as you want with anything you want.
$1 Jello Shots. I had various people walk around carrying these and selling them, and we made a good amount of money that way.
Other than that, I advertised on facebook and told people to come bringing cash. You wouldn't be admitted without cash. I got change beforehand at the bank and put a mason jar in the fridge for jello shots. I also put two mason jars around the apartment for miscellaneous donations. All in all, it went very well!
In other news, I'm at 4 days til my first T shot. I keep thinking about how I should be mourning my last days as a woman or whatever blablabla but you know. I just don't feel that way. I'm not hateful of being a woman, I just don't really care. It's like going to college or getting married. I've done this stage of my life. I'm ready for the next one. I had a good 23 years, let's get this show on the road.
We made commemorative pink cups that said the name of the party and the date. We had a keg, two 30racks of Bud Lite, skippies, assorted tequila, whiskey, vodka, gin. My kind friends bought a cake that said 'Tuck's the Best, Fuck the Rest'. We had streamers and waterguns and temporary dinosaur tattoos and parasols that go in the cup. We played flip cup and beer pong downstairs and danced to country music upstairs. We had jello shots in every flavor and jello shots made in orange slices.
Overall, it was amazing. I raised over $500. That alone is enough for me to reserve a surgery date with Dr. Garramone. I was truly, truly touched by everyone's immense display of support. I felt very truly loved, and I don't know how to repay that love, except in words I guess.
For those who are interested, my model was as follows--
$5 for a cup / admission. These are commemorative cups (so people feel like they are paying for something). You can write your name on the cup and you can then fill the cup up as many times as you want with anything you want.
$1 Jello Shots. I had various people walk around carrying these and selling them, and we made a good amount of money that way.
Other than that, I advertised on facebook and told people to come bringing cash. You wouldn't be admitted without cash. I got change beforehand at the bank and put a mason jar in the fridge for jello shots. I also put two mason jars around the apartment for miscellaneous donations. All in all, it went very well!
In other news, I'm at 4 days til my first T shot. I keep thinking about how I should be mourning my last days as a woman or whatever blablabla but you know. I just don't feel that way. I'm not hateful of being a woman, I just don't really care. It's like going to college or getting married. I've done this stage of my life. I'm ready for the next one. I had a good 23 years, let's get this show on the road.
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