T is for Timeline

For those who are curious, here are some dates for you.

2001 -- Started learning about transgenderism.

Sept 2006 -- Started college, gained support system, learned a ton about being trans

April 2006 -- Started binding, started looking at names, started identifying as trans. Went back and forth for the next few years.

June 2009 -- Started seeing a gender therapist.

July 25, 2009 -- My dad passed away. Stopped seeing my gender therapist, stopped thinking about gender for awhile.

April 30, 2010 -- My mom passed away.

May 31, 2010 -- Graduated college.

March 2011 -- Went back to same gender therapist, started working on gender issues.

April 30, 2011 -- Started going by Tuck, using male pronouns full time.

Late June, 2011 -- Got my physical in preparation for starting T.

July 2, 2011 -- Told I would be getting my T letter, made first call to Fenway Health.

July 8, 2011 -- Got my T letter.

July 8, 2011 - July 15, 2011 -- Assorted bloodwork, faxing, phonecalls, emails with therapist and Fenway.

July 15, 2011 -- My case goes before Fenway Health Transgender board. Case is approved! Told to make an appointment for 4 weeks from that date for initial hormone evaluation.

July 30, 2011 -- Top surgery fundraising party.

August 5, 2011 -- First shot at Fenway Health.

August 15, 2011 -- Phone call with Dr. Garramone. Top Surgery Scheduled!

January 26, 2012 -- Top Surgery scheduled!


When things get started, they REALLY get started!

T DAY

TODAY WAS THE DAY.

I obviously couldn't sleep. The woman and I drove to the doctor, I went over the basic forms with the doctor and she told me she didn't see any reason why I couldn't get my first shot that day.

I said yeah damn straight I'll get my first shot today. JK No but really I would have choked a bitch if that didn't happen.

So the second nurse came in, she showed me how to assemble the syringe, draw the testosterone into the needle and where to inject myself. She injected it today, but I will do it next week. I'm super eager to get started doing it on my own, because I'm so DIY and I do love accoutrements.

Anyway, she injected .25mL (50mL) of 200mg Testosterone Cypionate into my left thigh. She said next week we'll do it on my right thigh so I can use my dominant hand. It was a super bizarre sensation, I could truly feel it in my muscles. My quad is still a little sore.

BUT I DID IT. And it was awesome and here I am on the other side. I'm obviously super eager to start seeing changes, but I know I've got a long way to go. The only thing I've noticed so far is my throat feels funny, like I always have to clear it but I don't really. This might be totally psychosomatic.

I guess I feel like I have a little more energy. I feel like anything I say right now is going to be purely placebo effect, but who cares. That's part of it.

After the shot, I took a nap, ate some lunch and went to get a new tattoo. Ironically (or not ironically), I got 'ma'am'd and 'she'd multiple times at the tattoo parlor. I was all yeah yeah get your kicks now bros, you wait til I look like Taylor Hanson / Tom Felton / Ryan Gosling.

Which will obviously happen as early as tomorrow.

Here is a light photo journal of my day, since my lady friend was obviously like a proud parent during this whole thing.

T is for Tumblr

Ever since I can remember, since my earliest days of exploring gender identity, I've looked to the internet. I find the internet to be an amazing resource for many trans / gender nonconforming people, as it can show you the resources you need, the vocabulary that's hard to understand, and the fact that so many people out there have the courage to do something that you've longed to do.

Now that I've taken huge leaps and strides in my identity, I find something very disheartening in the trans community I've found on Tumblr. Since Tumblr is apparently the new livejournal for those 18 and under, I was expecting to see similar communities and similar experiences. It's true, on many accounts. There's the same photos, the same encouragement, the same positive reinforcement.

But there's something else, something I love less. Time and time again I see posts by young trans guys writing about how they hate their bodies, how they want to cut themselves because of their breasts, how they starve themselves because they hate their bodies, how they want to kill themselves every time they get their periods. It seems to be so firmly couched in hatred, and so many of the issues that plague teen girls are just being transformed onto a trans identity.

I also can't help but find this fundamentally misogynistic. To hate something so fundamentally female just screams woman hating. I know the dysphoria that comes with being trans, and I know everyone's experience is different, but this is a TREND. I am seeing this EVERYWHERE. There is just so much rage and hate against the female body! It makes me so upset to think of this theoretically progressive movement so rooted in the misogyny that plagues everyone. It's everywhere.

Anyway. I got my appointment at Fenway health today. I should be starting T in (hopefully) under a month. Yeeeeee.

for the record, my tumblr is tuckfinn.tumblr.com. I got nothin' to hide biddies.

TOP SURGERY

I've started a fundraiser for my upcoming top surgery. Shit is EXPENSIVE, brother. Like more expensive than my car. Like more expensive than my car INSURANCE.

With any luck, by next year, I'll be the realest boy imaginable.
Here is the link to donate!

If you donate $50 or more, I will draw you a comic to show you my eternal gratitude!

In other news, tuckstuff.com is my new favorite website. I want all presents from there from now on.

I mean look at this. This is perfect.

T is for

Tucker.

Twenty-three.

Transbro.

Working towards my T Letter.

Saving up for Top Surgery.

This is my holy roaming empire.