For those who are curious, here are some dates for you.
2001 -- Started learning about transgenderism.
Sept 2006 -- Started college, gained support system, learned a ton about being trans
April 2006 -- Started binding, started looking at names, started identifying as trans. Went back and forth for the next few years.
June 2009 -- Started seeing a gender therapist.
July 25, 2009 -- My dad passed away. Stopped seeing my gender therapist, stopped thinking about gender for awhile.
April 30, 2010 -- My mom passed away.
May 31, 2010 -- Graduated college.
March 2011 -- Went back to same gender therapist, started working on gender issues.
April 30, 2011 -- Started going by Tuck, using male pronouns full time.
Late June, 2011 -- Got my physical in preparation for starting T.
July 2, 2011 -- Told I would be getting my T letter, made first call to Fenway Health.
July 8, 2011 -- Got my T letter.
July 8, 2011 - July 15, 2011 -- Assorted bloodwork, faxing, phonecalls, emails with therapist and Fenway.
July 15, 2011 -- My case goes before Fenway Health Transgender board. Case is approved! Told to make an appointment for 4 weeks from that date for initial hormone evaluation.
July 30, 2011 -- Top surgery fundraising party.
August 5, 2011 -- First shot at Fenway Health.
August 15, 2011 -- Phone call with Dr. Garramone. Top Surgery Scheduled!
January 26, 2012 -- Top Surgery scheduled!
When things get started, they REALLY get started!
Showing posts with label transition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transition. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
T DAY
TODAY WAS THE DAY.
I obviously couldn't sleep. The woman and I drove to the doctor, I went over the basic forms with the doctor and she told me she didn't see any reason why I couldn't get my first shot that day.
I said yeah damn straight I'll get my first shot today. JK No but really I would have choked a bitch if that didn't happen.
So the second nurse came in, she showed me how to assemble the syringe, draw the testosterone into the needle and where to inject myself. She injected it today, but I will do it next week. I'm super eager to get started doing it on my own, because I'm so DIY and I do love accoutrements.
Anyway, she injected .25mL (50mL) of 200mg Testosterone Cypionate into my left thigh. She said next week we'll do it on my right thigh so I can use my dominant hand. It was a super bizarre sensation, I could truly feel it in my muscles. My quad is still a little sore.
BUT I DID IT. And it was awesome and here I am on the other side. I'm obviously super eager to start seeing changes, but I know I've got a long way to go. The only thing I've noticed so far is my throat feels funny, like I always have to clear it but I don't really. This might be totally psychosomatic.
I guess I feel like I have a little more energy. I feel like anything I say right now is going to be purely placebo effect, but who cares. That's part of it.
After the shot, I took a nap, ate some lunch and went to get a new tattoo. Ironically (or not ironically), I got 'ma'am'd and 'she'd multiple times at the tattoo parlor. I was all yeah yeah get your kicks now bros, you wait til I look like Taylor Hanson / Tom Felton / Ryan Gosling.
Which will obviously happen as early as tomorrow.
Here is a light photo journal of my day, since my lady friend was obviously like a proud parent during this whole thing.
I obviously couldn't sleep. The woman and I drove to the doctor, I went over the basic forms with the doctor and she told me she didn't see any reason why I couldn't get my first shot that day.
I said yeah damn straight I'll get my first shot today. JK No but really I would have choked a bitch if that didn't happen.
So the second nurse came in, she showed me how to assemble the syringe, draw the testosterone into the needle and where to inject myself. She injected it today, but I will do it next week. I'm super eager to get started doing it on my own, because I'm so DIY and I do love accoutrements.
Anyway, she injected .25mL (50mL) of 200mg Testosterone Cypionate into my left thigh. She said next week we'll do it on my right thigh so I can use my dominant hand. It was a super bizarre sensation, I could truly feel it in my muscles. My quad is still a little sore.
BUT I DID IT. And it was awesome and here I am on the other side. I'm obviously super eager to start seeing changes, but I know I've got a long way to go. The only thing I've noticed so far is my throat feels funny, like I always have to clear it but I don't really. This might be totally psychosomatic.
I guess I feel like I have a little more energy. I feel like anything I say right now is going to be purely placebo effect, but who cares. That's part of it.
After the shot, I took a nap, ate some lunch and went to get a new tattoo. Ironically (or not ironically), I got 'ma'am'd and 'she'd multiple times at the tattoo parlor. I was all yeah yeah get your kicks now bros, you wait til I look like Taylor Hanson / Tom Felton / Ryan Gosling.
Which will obviously happen as early as tomorrow.
Here is a light photo journal of my day, since my lady friend was obviously like a proud parent during this whole thing.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
A light gender retrospective
So, after waking up this morning and putting on my binder, as I do every morning and have done every day for the past five years literally without fail, I had a little thinking time to myself.
I've been working through my gender identity for a good, good long time now. I guess I never felt "trapped in the wrong body", like a lot of trans guys, but I also didn't know trans was an option. I assumed that, by transitioning, I would be relegated to the outskirts of society. I would have to give up everything I cared about and loved and pretty much change my life entirely. I figured no one would accept me.
When I was in the 7th grade, I found a livejournal (my generation's tumblr, apparently) and I remember poring over it for hours and hours. These were kids, not much older than me, and they were boys. They were born girls, and now were boys. I couldn't place my finger on what I felt, but I did spend some time there.
In Highschool, I fantasized about running away to the middle of nowhere, cutting off contact with everyone I knew, and transitioning. My friend, Brianna, who is a wonderful human being said to me one day out of the blue, "Hey, Rosie, when you get a sex change, will you still talk to me?" It was literally like she had read my mind. I didn't realize I was so obvious.
College came around and as soon as I was given access to the means and possibilities, I came out as trans. I bought my first binder, cut my hair short, started looking at names. I fluctuated for those four years, having days where if i I didn't transition RIGHT AWAY I didn't know how I could go on, and other days when people brought up, I laughed it off because it wasn't how I felt that day. I still don't know if I feel "male", or as a boy. Some days I do, some days I'm content to feel neutral. But even my neutral state wants facial hair, a deeper voice, secondary characteristics. I know if I don't at least try, I will regret not doing this forever. That much I know is sure.
I graduated college, moved into a real world situation, and suddenly had time to think a lot more about me. Both my parents passed away over the past two years (My dad in July of 2009, my mom in April 2010). I hate to say this, but it was an impetus for me. I wasn't afraid of their approval. For the first time in my life, I felt I was only accountable to me and me alone. So one night, almost on a whim, I said let's do it. Let's go by Tuck.
And people called me Tuck, I used male pronouns, I felt at ease. I wondered what I had ever worried about. As soon as I did this, everything fell into place. I guess I just woke up one morning and was ready to do it. So I did therapy, (I had planned ahead and my regular therapist was also qualified to write me my letter), I got my letter, I called the doctor and I crossed all my t's and dotted all the i's. I didn't realize how much I wanted this until suddenly doing everything to get my first shot seemed as easy as pie. Getting my physical, getting blood drawn, making phone calls, working things out with insurance, all things I usually hate, I did with no problems. The guy I've been working with at Fenway even commented on how hard I've been working for this. He told me he was glad to make it happen for me.
So here we are. I still don't know how I identify. I don't know if "trans" is the right for me, or if I'm "genderqueer" or anything else. I kind of stopped caring.
It's been a long time coming, this transition. I guess I just wanted to get that out there.
I've been working through my gender identity for a good, good long time now. I guess I never felt "trapped in the wrong body", like a lot of trans guys, but I also didn't know trans was an option. I assumed that, by transitioning, I would be relegated to the outskirts of society. I would have to give up everything I cared about and loved and pretty much change my life entirely. I figured no one would accept me.
When I was in the 7th grade, I found a livejournal (my generation's tumblr, apparently) and I remember poring over it for hours and hours. These were kids, not much older than me, and they were boys. They were born girls, and now were boys. I couldn't place my finger on what I felt, but I did spend some time there.
In Highschool, I fantasized about running away to the middle of nowhere, cutting off contact with everyone I knew, and transitioning. My friend, Brianna, who is a wonderful human being said to me one day out of the blue, "Hey, Rosie, when you get a sex change, will you still talk to me?" It was literally like she had read my mind. I didn't realize I was so obvious.
College came around and as soon as I was given access to the means and possibilities, I came out as trans. I bought my first binder, cut my hair short, started looking at names. I fluctuated for those four years, having days where if i I didn't transition RIGHT AWAY I didn't know how I could go on, and other days when people brought up, I laughed it off because it wasn't how I felt that day. I still don't know if I feel "male", or as a boy. Some days I do, some days I'm content to feel neutral. But even my neutral state wants facial hair, a deeper voice, secondary characteristics. I know if I don't at least try, I will regret not doing this forever. That much I know is sure.
I graduated college, moved into a real world situation, and suddenly had time to think a lot more about me. Both my parents passed away over the past two years (My dad in July of 2009, my mom in April 2010). I hate to say this, but it was an impetus for me. I wasn't afraid of their approval. For the first time in my life, I felt I was only accountable to me and me alone. So one night, almost on a whim, I said let's do it. Let's go by Tuck.
And people called me Tuck, I used male pronouns, I felt at ease. I wondered what I had ever worried about. As soon as I did this, everything fell into place. I guess I just woke up one morning and was ready to do it. So I did therapy, (I had planned ahead and my regular therapist was also qualified to write me my letter), I got my letter, I called the doctor and I crossed all my t's and dotted all the i's. I didn't realize how much I wanted this until suddenly doing everything to get my first shot seemed as easy as pie. Getting my physical, getting blood drawn, making phone calls, working things out with insurance, all things I usually hate, I did with no problems. The guy I've been working with at Fenway even commented on how hard I've been working for this. He told me he was glad to make it happen for me.
So here we are. I still don't know how I identify. I don't know if "trans" is the right for me, or if I'm "genderqueer" or anything else. I kind of stopped caring.
It's been a long time coming, this transition. I guess I just wanted to get that out there.
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